It was a weird week, but what week hasn't been weird lately? I made sure to spend some time doing things I love - dancing around my kitchen while cooking, journaling, painting in my sketch book, and having Zoom meetups with friends. 

But last night I didn't sleep and when I would temporarily dose off, I would snap back awake suddenly, my jaw clenched. There's definitely a deep feeling of anxiousness that I haven't quite excavated yet. I mean sure, the world is on fire, but it has been for quite awhile. So why the sudden lack of sleep?

In thinking about it, I realized that going into work every day is starting to take its toll. I don't mind actually being at work. It's the commute. It's a struggle. I'm tired of the dark and the cold and the sense that things just aren't quite as safe as they used to be. I really wish that my job allowed me to work from home. It would cut down a lot of my anxiety. But the nature of my work makes it impossible.

So lately there's a pervasive feeling of exhaustion that's extended its slimy tentacles into the fabric of my everyday. It looms like a Lovecraftian nightmare and unfortunately in this season of my life, it's inescapable. It's times like these that I try my best to respect my feelings of exhaustion and lean hard into resting. I know I've written about this a lot lately (every week??? Ha!), but it truly is something that I've been returning to time and time again. The importance of listening to my body and what it needs. Listening to the thoughts rambling through my mind, and letting them pass without judgment. Listening to my spirit and what it yearns for.

This weekend we got a huge snowstorm, and I was delighted. With no chance of going any where and all plans cancelled, I stayed in bed almost all day and read. I told myself it was okay if I dozed off and didn't wake up for hours. I fully indulged in doing nothing, and didn't allow myself to feel one ounce of guilt about it.

Anyway, all of that is to say that I'm struggling a bit right now. And to let you know that if you're struggling too, you're not alone.

Here are some neat things I found this week...

    * I made this Northern Thai-style Coconut Soup from Choosing Chia, with a few modifications. I added vegetables (spinach, peas, broccoli and cauliflower), and tofu. It was delicious and I'm officially adding to my regular slate of recipes!

    * Speaking of food...I am OBSESSED with these cakes in an "exploding" box and I can't wait to send one to everyone I know, of course with the addition of the butterflies to freak them right the fuck out. They even have vegan options! YOU GET A CAKE! AND YOU GET A CAKE! AND YOU GET A CAKE!

    * I love urban sketching and I am absolutely charmed by this drawing of Marseilles by Etsy seller The Time to Draw. I've been to France, but never to Marseilles, so I don't know why this makes my heart skip a beat. I think that it just captures a mood and feeling.

    * Mood and feeling? This video of Shibu Onsen Hot Spring in Nagano by Anna Film Production is a whole entire vibe. Take a minute to just sit in stillness and watch this.

And that's all. Have a great week!