I decided to start this blog because, in a few days time, I will be 40 years old. 

This came as a shock to me. Where did the time go? Much of my 30s are a blur. The first year or two were memorable - it was at 30 that I decided to move back to Florence, Italy for awhile to complete a graduate certificate program. Not much forgettable about that experience. But other than that, much of it feels...mundane, lost in a swirl of work, internet and exhaustion. So I want this next decade, if possible, to be different.

Turning 40 is funny. When you're younger, you think you'll have "It" all figured out by this age (spoiler: you don't). You also think 40 is waaaaaaaay old (spoiler: it's not). In many ways, I feel like the person I've always been.  But when I think about where I was versus where I am now, there's nothing further from the truth. 

At (almost) 40, I'm more secure in who I am which, compared to my tortuous 20s, is no small thing and makes me sigh in relief (good god, that sucked!). I care much less about what others think of me and have adopted a true "Who gives a fuck!" attitude about things that, in past years, would have had me bending over backwards to accommodate others' notions of what I should be doing and who I should be. I've settled into my skin and my mind and who I am in ways that I never could have foreseen when I was younger. It's pretty cool.

With all that newfound confidence, it's easy to stagnate, to snuggle into this self-ease and comfort like a warm blanket, to accept the path of least resistance. I could Netflix and chill for the rest of my days. But I really believe that life is meant to be LIVED. We have agency. We can accept the standard narrative of aging that society inflicts upon us (especially women), or we can chart our own paths. I choose the latter. Fuck it.

This blog will be about many things. Mostly it will center around  my "40 in 40" list, a catalog of things - big and small - that I want to accomplish in my 40th year. This blog is a way to keep me accountable, and to share all the fun I'm having.

And, while the list will serve as a map of specific ways in which I want to navigate the coming year, I really see this whole journey, and this blog, as being about intentional, mindful living. "Focus" was the word I chose at the new year to give 2016 direction. I want to focus more on what's important and meaningful in my life. What do I want my life to be like for the next decade or so? How can I get even closer to becoming the person I want to be?

I decided to name this blog Abbott Lane, after the street that I grew up on as a kid. It's where my memories began, and I felt it was an appropriate name for a blog that's focused on the ways in which I'm creating this life for myself, and how who I am now (and who I will become) has its roots in that little house in the suburbs of Chicago.

I'm excited to see where all of this takes me, and I want this next year to be one of more thoughtfulness in how I approach this thing we call life.

So...welcome to my blog! Thanks for reading.